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getyourassbeat:

opens window curtains, takes 50 selfies in natural light, closes window curtains

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thatslifeinthe-theatre:

OKAY WHO DECIDES WHEN SHOWS CLOSE ON BROADWAY BECAUSE I THINK I NEED TO HAVE A TALK WITH THEM

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  • jesus:mom i told you i didn't want a big party
  • mary:THE WHOLE WORLD WILL CELEBRATE EVERY YEAR
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bloggingthetrench:

Two chemists walk into a bar.

One of them asks for H2O. The other asks for H2O2 and giggles.

The bartender serves them both hydrogen peroxide because he’s fucking tired of chemists walking into his bar and trying that joke.

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phantomdoodler:

"what would you do if you won the lottery?"

image

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euo:

turning off auto-capitalization on my phone because it doesn’t meet my chill ass down to earth aesthetic

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covocal:

the fact that people think in different accents really gets to me 

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bunny-banana:

IF YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I’M GONNA LISTEN TO YOU EXPLAINING TO ME ALL THE DIFFERENT REGIONAL ACCENTS/DIALECTS OF YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE AND SHOWING ME THE EXACT LINGUISTIC DIFFERENCES TO RELATED LANGUAGES then you are absolutely right make yourself comfortable i’ll just bring the popcorn and then we can proceed

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